Not wanting to change ourselves is a hot topic for me at the moment. I am inundated with requests from people trying to solve problems – people, situations, organisations. My belief as a coach is that nobody’s solution will fit you as well as the one you come up with yourself, so my job is to facilitate your process of discovery and creation. The pattern is always the same, and it is the same for everyone: at some point we realise where we are standing in our own way. This is a beautiful and pivotal point – we are finally free from outside influences and can change the situation – we’ve got the power!
And that seems to be the problem too… When we get to this point we dither. A lot! We hesitate, we procrastinate, we make up stories, excuses, spend inordinate amounts of time on social media, or in front of the TV, ANYTHING rather than change our behaviour, our minds or our hearts. Frankly, it seems that we prefer the problem we have rather than risk doing anything different and potentially solving it!
In coaching we call this Crossing an Edge. It is how we humans view change, it is universal. You’ll be happy to know that coaches are trained to help people cross edges1. And here is one you can try yourself: Ask yourself how can you put just your toe over the edge, instead of jumping with both feet into the great unknown. Us Agilists know how to do this with software products – testing the water – so can you bring the principles of Minimum Viable Product (MVP) to a change you need to make?
What would be possible if 5% or 10% of a new way of being or doing is known to you? What would an experiment look like? And what can you do in the next 2 weeks to stop dithering on that important change?
PS: If you want to learn a little more about crossing edges, have a look at the slide deck of my recent Agile2018 talk. Or let’s have a coffee chat!
1Coaches are trained to help OTHER people cross edges. They need coaching themselves when they cross their own, alas!